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buttcramps:

simple tips to gain my friendship

  • have a dog
  • show me pictures of your dog
  • invite me over to pet your dog
  • be a dog
  • dog

spongyspice:

we all have a person who’s name we hear and we just

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store: help wanted
me: *applies for job*
store: no not you

elicrotch:

v0ciferation:

checks grades

*bastille voice* how am i gonna be an optimist about this

well if you close your eyes

thetwerkking:

when a hot person walks by and accidentally rubs against you
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wolverxne:

Untitled - by: { Danotis }

wolverxne:

Untitled - by: { Danotis }

87daysbefore:

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pretty patties RULE!

beyoncevevo:

i get frustrated when i dont get a joke that has like 200k notes like what is it that 200,000 people understand that i dont 

evaot:

when ur tryin to tell a story but people talk over you

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radgreymon:

pumpkins age like white people

radgreymon:

pumpkins age like white people